Truth

Tomorrow we will celebrate and honor the precious Rev. Marvin Cole for his eighty-seven years of life and seventy-two years of ministry.  I cannot say that I've known him for many years.  I've known "of" him for many years and I am convinced that his legacy is very real and life-changing.

You see, at times I feel disqualified to even be a small part of his legacy; I don't have a history with him or even with the number of people that have walked shoulder-to-shoulder with him through the years.  I don't have the memories with him personally, so it seems like there is a bit of a disconnect. But, as I thought about it more, I realized I have the memory of such men and elders because of who I am and because of the way I was raised.

I was always taught to uphold the truth of the Living Word of God, to honor the elders that still stood for and obeyed Apostolic truth; to never let go of the old paths and the way of our forerunners in the Apostolic movement. I do not subscribe to the belief that some things could have been better or improved upon, such is every thing in life.

I have a great burden to uphold men of standard and honor.  I cringe at the very thought that there was a stint in my life as a Christian that I chose to believe the lie that this type of honor and reverence was non-essential and unimportant.  This is the reason we must value the truth-preaching men in our lives, truth is paramount.

I value truth with all that I am. I'm learning more as the years go by. I don't ever want to "arrive" or be content with what I have and what I know of God.  I feel like there's so much more and I want to honor the Lord and my heritage and never stop standing for what is right.

God is in the details

Well if the wild-fire-spread word hasn't reached you - we're moving to Beaumont! Surprised? Us too!


The beginning: We packed up everything we owned and traveled to the Great North (Dallas) about three years ago.  We'd talked and discussed how wonderful it would be to be in "the city". How fun and what a great adventure it would be! We were also excited about the great possibilities for my husband, being an accountant. I mean, he could be a CFO of a huge company, maybe start his own. We had plans. We left in haste, a hurricane had taken my job and we thought that was our ticket. Hind-sight is always 20/20. Always.


We always were involved in music ministry wherever we have been, that was also an exciting thing - to consider the possibilities.  We thought we'd land a great accounting job for him, have kids, slip into a great church and become music ministers at some point. [Side note: one of the main reasons for Brian getting his degree was so that when we eventually became full time music ministers, we wouldn't have to rely on the church to support us financially.  I think the days of ministering and working are quite rare, but we wanted to do that nonetheless.] Back to the surprise! Our plans. Ohhh our plans. We had great plans. We made some beautiful, elaborate plans. Well as you know, our plans are not always HIS plans. Our ways are definitely NOT His ways.  We just imagined living in a cute little neighborhood with some little Wallace's running around and life would be grand. It's amazing how your imagination can get carried away. :) We found ourselves in frustration many, many times. We cried. We prayed. We were confused. God, why isn't our plan happening? He didn't answer.


When we first arrived in Dallas, we traveled visiting around area churches (at least 20) testing the waters. We were asked to become music ministers for 3 of them. It just didn't feel right. It didn't work. It was our plan, but it wasn't right. It wasn't His plan. We had to decline and found ourselves in a bit of a downward spiral of emotion. Alas, being in Dallas has been a blessing. Abundantly!  We always had food, lights, and even got a newer car in the process. God quadrupled our income (don't worry, we started out VERY skim so we weren't wealthy by any means! Just imagine: I had a $1 and now we had $4) haha) I had a GREAT job for nearly three years.  I enjoyed the feeling that I was making a contribution to society and not just doing something pointless with myself. My husband finished his Bachelor's degree too. I felt that God truly opened the doors for us. We followed through all the doors He opened. He had some doors bolted closed too. Very tightly. Then, our income was snapped in half suddenly this year. 


Backtracking a little, we stumbled upon New Life. We were very encouraged that there are STILL churches that worship and have a pastor that tells it like it is. We felt safe. A place to gather our bearings and transition to what He wanted. We quickly realized, it's not about our plans. Humility is a big, big word in my life. I have learned so much about myself, about God and about love in the last three years that I could never express it fully.  When your plans crash down in front of you, you feel like you're worthless. It is an unsettling fear. Living in that fear produces nothing but more confusion and turmoil.When you're transparent with yourself, with others and with God, everything becomes enlightening. Quickly, I learned that I had to muster every ounce of faith I could grasp and move on with life. There was more to come.


When we got to New Life, we were so thankful to be included - such a faith builder! Here, I have walked a journey that I never imagined I'd walk. I've gone to places in God I never imagined I'd go. I learned that prayer is so much more than what I thought it was. My friendship with God turned into a full-blown love relationship. All of this happened after we relinquished our plans to His hand. Now, I know for some of the super-dee-duper spiritual warriors, you're thinking Well duh, you should have known that! Yeah, maybe. But we had to learn it this way for some reason. And that's really ok with me. :)


Three years later, here we are. We found ourselves seeking deeply for His will. Fasting and praying longer and deeper than ever. (I don't say these things to promote our spirituality AT ALL, it's just our reality.) We knew "the cloud" was lifting and it was time to get serious. We stretched far and wide. We needed to find out what was next. My husband stretched as far as Alaska for answers. He applied for accounting jobs all over the country. Nothing. (Cricket chirps) We got a few invitations to assist in music ministry but something just didn't sit right. So we just sat back and said, Ok, God. It's all in your hands. You know our needs. You know the financial burden of those student loans are leering over our heads! You know .... You know .... Guide every step, every move, every breath! Just about the time we had let it all go - surprise! Brian had the mindset of just let go and let God and we realized that God had other plans. After about three interviews in Beaumont and a gazillion in other cities, we realized, Maybe God has other plans. We should stand still. When you don't know what to do - you STAND. So we stood.


Long story short, he got a call a few weeks ago about a job as an accountant at the exact place he had felt to apply. The first time he applied, he was turned down. We let it go. We stood. He got another call and they wanted to meet both of us. Now, when a company wants to meet family I place them on the top of quality in my list. If they judge your character by interaction with the ones you love - that is a BIG positive to me. We met them, they bought our lunch, and the interviewer told us she had prayed before hiring anyone. She said she had over 70 applicants (and many were much more qualified) but she couldn't shake the feeling of meeting Brian. She told us that when she met us, she knew it was right. We felt the exact same way. Can you tell me God doesn't have plans?!!! Wow. Surprise! Surprise! 


Brian accepted the offer and will be making EXACTLY the amount in order to cover student loan payments and PLUS a little more. There's no way we could have worked that out with our little planning schemes! Never in a million years. We are truly, truly humbled. I mean, just a few short years ago we had a plan to live in a beautiful, big city. But God's ways are not ours. On top of all the amazing things He's shown us, I will get to live very close to my parents and best friends. I couldn't have planned it better myself. I couldn't have imagined it all on my own. But I know the One in whom I have believed - He knows my name. He knows every step I take and He chose the steps for us to take. We are so happy to take those steps. It's complete joy to walk in His will. If only to walk in obedience, that is all I care to do. I am blessed beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. 


I couldn't thank the people I've met in Dallas enough for their friendship, love, compassion, sacrifice, time, prayer and concern. I have gained some of the best experiences I've ever known in my life. I've learned how to be a true Christian. I will bring this lesson, this life-changing lesson with me every step of the way. 


I love surprises!


RDW

Hypothetically, In Reality

What if you woke up and decided to be thankful for everything you have? What if you were thankful for not having the things you think you really need or want? What a feat that would be!

It seems that people generally wish for more. It's human. We all want to go to the next level in life. We all want to have the next thing: the most popular toy, the newest gadget, climb the next rung on the corporate ladder, keep up with the Jones' (marriage, childbirth, uhhhh what's next?). We are a progressive creation. I don't believe by any means that we were created to sit and mold and be complacent. I don't believe we were made to accept things that we know can be changed for the better. I for one, am not a person to sit back and allow the world to keep turning without getting in on the next hot topic. I don't necessarily have the means to always keep up with it all, but I can at least relate to it.

For some reason, our culture has ingrained in us that we aren't good enough being happy with our personal snapshot of life; life as it is right now. The mainstream media, hype, whatever you want to call it, has programmed our minds to believe and actually react to the fact that if we don't have the next thing or if we aren't in the next phase of life like everyone else, then there is somehow a bad connotation.  Obviously, that is all relative to who you are and your frame of reference. But generally speaking, that's the norm in our society. I find that plumb stupid.

Why do we bow to that heap of nothingness? Why do we fall into that trap? So many reasons. I'd venture to guess that many of us do so because we are too weak to say NO.  No to the fad-induced norms. No to the ridiculous ideas. This absurd mentality irritates me because kids will grow up believing this to be REAL and it's the furthest thing from the truth. Say YES to the fact that good things truly come to those that wait and prepare. Good things come to the diligent, not to the "cool".

Why not take a stand against what our world calls normal and stay the course and become who you are supposed to be?

As I was praying one night I was asking God to bless us, bless our finances, bless our marriage, bless this, bless that .... the obvious things we all want. The Bible says ask and you will receive ... I was just putting it into action! *smile* However, I really felt like God spoke in the middle of that prayer and He stopped me in my tracks. He said, "Why don't you become thankful for what you have and where you are? I have always blessed you and always will, but a true thankfulness of where you are and what you have is where the biggest blessings begin."  Oh. Oops. I realized I had taken the foolish lead of my world, my surroundings and just asked for things. No, I didn't ask for a new car or heaps of money. I was just asking for the regular things in life. I've never been one to want all the new things that people flock to; but, I guess in my own heart I had forgotten that what I do have and where I am right now is where I need to be. 

Sometimes we need a good, old-fashioned re-calibration in our minds. We need to forget the hype that surrounds us and be ok with the now, the present. It's a part of who we are and it's also a part of who we will become. So, hypothetically, what if we were thankful for our reality? Life is not a snapshot, no, but until we can embrace each snapshot, we will never be able to fully grasp or grow into our full potential. What if?

"Count it pure joy ..." NIV James 1:2a

Simple Gift

Going away from home always makes me think. Let me backtrack. I think a great amount anyway but leaving somehow makes me think more.  I'm grateful for such a generous family to have flown me literally across the country on their dime. Makes for a very humbling experience.

I loved getting away and seeing the simplicity of life. Even before I left, I had a brief chat with a friend about the little things. The small things. Those things that so many of us take for granted regularly.  The buzzing hummingbirds, the smell of laundry, the lavender scented candles ... ahhh. What a breath of fresh air to really soak in the important things.

I challenged myself to get closer to those seemingly insignificant things in life and I'm slowly transforming into my reality. No one else can be in my shoes nor can they enjoy or bask in my little moments - only I can. And the same goes for each of us.  I've come to grasp that my family is the most important thing to me - disclaimer, God will always be at the top of my priority. (That was for any naysayers that dare stop by!) Immediately after God comes my family. If we don't spend the time and build our families, we have nothing. We can work endlessly and labor, but if our families aren't strong, we are nothing. The families are what makes up God's church, and we must be strong.

I've been overcome with a sense of gratitude for my life. The fact that I get to do laundry - that makes me happy. I have someone's laundry to do! I have someone that depends upon me and my judgement in many ways. To me, that is a gift and calling like no other. I'd rather cook dinner for my dear husband than go to a fine restaurant. Why? Firstly, because I know where my hands have been! haha (think about it) And secondly, because I've been given this moment, this life, this marriage for only such a sweet time as this.  It will all fade away and be filled with regret unless we can somehow harness that sweet scent of joy ... it really is all around us.

Accepting that reality is not always the popular choice. It is sometimes scoffed at and made for fun; maybe even has caused reason for debate. That is also a simplicity that we must accept. Choice. We should not be ashamed of who we are nor of what we stand for even when it is seemingly silly to those that don't yet grasp the concept.  Some things just don't really matter. I am soaking up the simple things in life. I don't want one, tiny second to get past me again. I want to be present for this gift of life.

That's Just Me

There are so many things in life to complain or jabber about. I could make a mile long list of things that annoy/intrigue me. Then, I could turn around and tell you how I annoy myself.  I could blab on about a piece of literature or tell you my perspective on organ donation or even tell you about the tiny, insignificant details of my waking life. I suppose I could tell you what emotions I'm feeling or I might even be able to dig up the protocol for blogging. Maybe I could convince you that dark roast coffee beans are better flavored than light. Hmmm soo ...

... I was thinking, complaining/jabbering isn't that bad . Just as long as complaining doesn't become a daily habit. Jabbering. Hmm, well, that can be addicting too. Just try to keep it at a minimum, k?   

Here I sit, a little blank, a little blah with absolutely nothing to complain about. NOTHING! Ok, ok ... sure I could, but, I don't want to. You know? There are days! I had one of those days last week, but that's old news. So, what's the news today you ask? Hold on, I'm looking for it ... it's here in my notes *shuffling papers* ... hmmm, I know I seem to have stuffed away some things to complain about, some things that wildy aggravate me ... hmmm, no ... not here ... *drops all papers and watches them fly away with the wind* Oh! I'm sorry, I forgot you were waiting on me ... see, I'm a bit of a klutz and I'm terribly scatterbrained and do you ever get those little brown specs that float around in your line of vision? One just floated by on my left eye. Weird. Oh. Focus, Rebekah, focus. Yes, my news. Ok, here goes.I'm still searching ... give me ... yes, yes, I see it now ... the news for today is: Be thankful for everything! Remember to stop and smell the coffee ... or, um, roses! Whichever is your cup of tea! Remember to be happy that your body has air to breathe and that your mind can function so that you read these words. Oh, Rebekah, you're being facetious. No, blog-reader-person, I'm not! I mean that from the bottom of my soles to the tip top of my head. Don't forget what you have. Things can come and go right before your eyes. Savor life. Enjoy life. SMILE EVERYDAY. Fake it if you have to, what's wrong with that?! What could you possibly LOSE? I'm so thankful for my life. No one can quite know but ME. The same goes for you. Get everything you can from this 'vapor' that so quickly fades ... life.

So, see? I could have rambled on about something intelligent.  Now that I think about it, that would make me look pretty good. I do need to look good. Snap out of it, Rebekah!  What is life if you can't enjoy it? What is life if you can't savor your time alive? What is life if you're not LIVING it? Nothing. 

Your life, for the grand majority of it, is your choice. You choose where your life goes. Make the difference and get all you can out of it. Well, what about if you're stressed out? What if you're depressed? Or lonely? Take a happy pill. NO! It's only human to feel those emotions, but you've gotta pull yourself out of that deep hole and see what life is all about. No, I'm not talking about being irresponsible and foolish. I'm talking about making the best of something, this precious gift we've been given, called life. You only have one. That's just me though.

RDW

The magnifying glass

I've had something on my heart for a little while. I don't know if I'm hyper-sensitive to people's emotions or if I'm perhaps surrounded by people that have big problems.  I would venture to guess it's a bit of both. Regardless, people have problems. People have big problems.  I'm not excluding myself in the 'people' word either. I don't discount for a second how tough life can be. I got stories. I gots lots of stories. (Yes, I know that's not proper grammar, didn't intend it to be for you OCD'ers out there.) 

Where was I? Oh yes. People and problems. I don't claim to be the know-it-all nor do I feel that I know it all.  I do, however, know that God inspires people that are sensitive to Him and His Word. I feel inspired.  I feel like someone needs to understand this concept. Read on, oh, blog stalkers, you.  :)

I've noticed we like to talk about our past, our problems, our fears, our ... everything that is WRONG or bad. We like to TALK about it.  We like to STEW in it. We stew in it so much that we bond with those problems and shortcomings until it's a part of our make-up, who we are.  But ... wait. God's Word is given to us by inspired men that were walking and talking with Jesus, God Himself. We live (well, most of us I hope) under anointed, spirit-filled ministering of the word, of song, of exhortation. We live in the realm of victory. Yet, many times we walk in the realm of defeat. Why? Why do we continuously fold into the same situations? The same thorns that were gouging our eyes 5 years ago are still in our lives. WHY?! 

I don't know.  I told you I'm not the all-knowing one here! :)  I do have an idea though. It may not be true for some but I sincerely believe some people don't see it and then the other group see it but make a choice to ignore it for many reasons.  The truth being, when you have the tools to become victorious and don't use them - that's what some people call ... stubborn? Defiant? Rebellious? Blind?  Maybe confused.  I dare not say stupid. But I thought it!

Our Tools :

1. The Word of God

2. The power of prayer

3. The preaching of the Word 

4. Positive, influential people in our lives

5. The power of your WILL (choices)

So what am I trying to convey? I'm trying to convey that if we walk around mumbling and grumbling that 'a situation' is not what it needs to be. Then FIX IT! You have all the tools you will ever need.  

Luke 10:19
"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you."

I think that is a pretty fair example that God gives us authority to overcome. Did you notice I said authority? That means you have the right to control the issue. You have the right to settle the issue.Some of us think that we don't have a right to do anything but complain or whine.  Why do we sometimes mistake the word authority for this thought, "Oh, well God didn't mean that word for ME. He meant it differently to ME. Because I'm so .... __________" bad, unworthy, messed-up, far from Him, content, satisfied with mediocre ... Isn't that how we sometimes view that? 

Galatians 5:16-17
"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want."

Sometimes I think we forget what we're doing. I honestly do.  If you are in this thing to live for God, to be saved, to help save others and to make it to Heaven it would be a purely simple formula that would look something like this:

Love God + Following His plan (repentance, baptism & receiving the Holy Ghost -an awesome gift) +  Live according to His Word + Submit your will to Him + Have a daily walk with Him = fulfillment and peace even when you don't have the answers as to WHY you're facing what it is you're facing.

But instead we make it like this:

Love God + Follow His plan + Get sidetracked in ourselves + Don't submit our will to His  + Problems are now magnified more than He is + Sudden feeling that He doesn't love us (self pity) + I'm going to give up because God just isn't coming through for me = A life of empty, hollow, church-going, sadness

We must live in HIM. In His realm of life-changing power.

Ephesians 6:10-17
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

See, yet another list of all the amazing tools we have to use. AT OUR FINGERTIPS. These are not just scriptures to hear a preacher speak. They're not just great, cool, awesome scriptures. You have to believe them. Having faith that even though I don't know how this works, I believe it will change me. With prayer, you will begin to see these words as a light. Your path will be brighter and clearer when you have spoken to Him through your trials. We can't just set our clock for 15 minutes a day in prayer. We must allow His presence to take us in. How? Worship. Worship. Worship. When you need a breakthrough, there is nothing more powerful than worship. When you have a great day, there is nothing more powerful than worship. When you magnify HIM, you minimize YOU. You won't be able to understand what others are griping and complaining about because you know how to magnify. It's a way of life. 

When you finally decide to be submissive to Him and His Word and speak to Him daily, no matter what your emotions are flaring up about -- you will see a change. When you don't feel it. Do it anyway. I'm pretty sure He wasn't really up to being nailed to a cross that day either.

Get your magnifying glass out. Keep it out. It will change who you are and you will become who He wants you to be.

Self encouragement and it's Mary time

I was digging through my old Xanga blog and found this little nugget I posted back in 2008. Take a seat, stay awhile ...

Martha belonged to Bethany, and was the sister of Lazarus and Mary (Jn 11:1).  Martha generally took the lead in action, it is inferred that she was the eider sister. Martha was one of those who gave hospitality to Jesus during His public ministry. Thus, in the course of those wanderings which began when "he stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem" (Lk 9:51), he "entered into a certain village"--its name is not stated--and "a certain woman named Martha received him into her house" (Lk 10:38). Martha, whose sense of responsibility as hostess weighed heavily upon her, was "cumbered about much serving," and her indignation was aroused at the lack of assistance given to her by her sister. Her words, "Lord, dost thou not care?" implied a certain reproach to Jesus also, in that she felt He showed a want of sympathy with her efforts and was the cause of Mary’s remissness. But Jesus, in tones of gentle reproof, reminded her that for Him not the preparation of an elaborate meal but the hearing of His Word in the spirit of Mary was the "one thing needful" (Lk 10:39-42).

I’ve been thinking about Martha so much lately.  The above was found on a Biblical website that I was reading from. Martha was known as the industrious, work-a-holic, a people-pleaser, so to speak.  She did great things for Jesus.  She was probably one of those wonderful people, unlike myself, that can multi-task 50 jobs all at once. She was probably the worker bee that never stopped.  She thrived on perfection and making sure the job was done "just so".  I admire her because, being somewhat a perfectionist myself, I always want the job done ... well, perfect.  I feel like, if I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it all the way and beyond or I’m not giving my word. Period.  But, in the midst of all the effort and sweat, she got lost. Lost in herself. Shamefully, I admit that I’ve done this very thing. Becoming so cumbered with the idea that if things are not going as I plan, then I think... "Lord, dost thou not care?" Or, in our modern day vernacular, "Um, God ... don’t-you-see-how-much-work-I’ve-done-and-how-awesome-of-a- job-this-is-and-how-talented-I-am-and-all-the-time-I-spent-on-this-project-and-all- the-hrs-I-stayed-up-at-night-on-my-own-time-making-forms-and-nice-things- for-people-that-really-care-less-and-most-likely-will-leave-them-sitting-around-everywhere-to-be-thrown-away? God,-don’t-you-see-how-much-I’m-trying-to-please-You?"  Maybe I’m the only one that has felt this. Doubtful! But, I’m speaking to myself tonight. I shall call this my self-talk.  My conclusion is rather simple.  I want to be like Mary, instead.  Martha was so concerned and even angered, according to scripture, that God didn’t NOTICE her deeds. Many deeds she’d done, there’s no doubt.  Her attitude, however, did nothing for God.  She was not in it to truly be a servant. It was a duty to her. It had become something other than a sacrifice.  I get tired of being around people that have this attitude.  I also get tired of having to whip myself into shape from HAVING this very attitude.  I sincerely need God to help me become a Mary. 

She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42)

God was simply trying to tell Martha (my interpretation): Look, girl. You have got to chill out! You can’t just be worried about all the things you’ve got to manage.  It’s not all about you. You have to look at what’s important. First, your attitude stinks and you need to be looking for ME and seek My Presence. 

Ok, that was a humbling and probably mortifying experience for Martha.  I feel like God has said the same to me. I can’t be so cumbered and vexed with my responsibilities that I can’t even feel Him when He speaks.  I can’t be so angered and angsty to finish a project if He’s not in it.  I don’t want to do anything or say a single word without Him first saying ... do it.  I love Him with all my heart and I need this story on my bathroom mirror!  It’s not really about getting the work DONE as much as it is focusing on the attitude it is done with and the will of God.  Our attitudes tell others a lot about our heart.  I don’t want my heart out of line with God. I don’t want to say or be something that can turn someone away from me that can later be an asset to me. So, self. You are officially on notice: It’s Mary time.

-Rebekah out